Not right - Just right
by Ninjasnowflake
Summary: Draco draws professionally. Harry needs a drawing to please his girlfriend. What happens when emotions overshadow the task at hand? In which Draco isn't quite ordinary and Harry doesn't care.


Harry James Potter was naked on his bed. Draco honestly didn't know what to feel. On one hand he couldn't stop his eyes from running over the other man's chest, trailing over every muscle in his arm and how they curved and occasionally tightened up when Harry moved slightly. But on the other hand, he couldn't quite get himself to look there. The place which made Harry biologically a male. He took a deep breath and returned his gaze to the paper. His drawing of the man didn't serve Harry justice. It couldn't truly express the beauty in all the small nooks and bulges, which were part of the other man.

And he knew it wouldn't even have a chance to do so, before he finished the initial sketching of the body part he had been avoiding so far. He wasn't sure why Harry's girlfriend wanted a naked sketch of her man for her birthday, but Harry was the kind of guy who would give it to her, even if he didn't understand why she wanted it. That was just one of the things about the other male Draco found incredible interesting.

Draco had enjoyed Harry's company every Thursday night for the last month. The man was smart, even if he on the surface didn't seem like it. They had intelligent conversations, like no other conversation Draco had ever had before. After only seeing the man four times, he had admitted to himself that he was crushing on said male.

He couldn't help it. Personality was his weak spot. If a guy or a girl for the matter clicked with him, his heart was fast to chose said person as the one. He usually compared it with biting nails. Even if you know that shit is disgusting, you still continue to do it, simply because you can't help yourself. His problem was the same. He kept crushing on whoever showed him some spark of personality, even if he knew he shouldn't.

And now the one he was crushing on was an already taken man, who Draco drew on Thursdays and watched naked more often than probably anyone else in Harry's life. Apparently, him and his girlfriend didn't have sex. Something which Draco found rather curious, considering most relationships these days consisted of physical attraction and intimacy. It made Draco's mind race. Them not having sex meant Harry's naked body was solely reserved for Draco's eyes only.

It sparked a fire inside of him he had never known existed. Knowing some part of another person was solely for him. He knew he was ridiculous, but he couldn't help himself. It wasn't like Harry was his in any way. In some sick part of his brain, knowing no one else got to see what Draco did just made what they had so much more special.

As much as Draco adored Harry, he couldn't get himself to look at his dick. It was a part of the human body he had never found as beautiful as the rest of it could be. In all honesty dicks as well as vaginas kinda scared him. He wasn't scared of his own, but he wouldn't mind if it wasn't there.

He took another deep breath, Harry had been silent today. At the beginning of the session he had stated he wanted to rest, after a long day at work. Draco hadn't really minded. He enjoyed watching Harry when the other male wasn't looking. Even though he had said he wanted to rest, Draco couldn't understand how Harry was resting. Simply because the other male's eyes weren't closed. He was watching Draco. Draco felt the gaze send tingles through him. The intensity of said gaze when it met his own, forced Draco to lower his eyes.

What was he doing? He had no right to... Harry's words broke his line of thoughts. "What are you afraid of?" It wasn't spoken loud and clear, but Draco heard it like Harry had yelled it. It shot an icicle through him and he froze in his spot. He didn't know what to do or say. Had Harry realized what he was avoiding?

Harry sighed softly. "I realized last time, that one part of the drawing wasn't as detailed as the rest of it." He muttered, making Draco lift his gaze. "In all honesty it didn't even look anything like the real thing. Trust me I checked." Here Harry chuckled softly, making a soft smile spread on Draco's face. Even if he was really uncomfortable with the current topic, he couldn't help but enjoy Harry's sense of humour.

"I couldn't get it out of my head" Harry continued, moving to sit up. Draco's eyes instantly moved to watch how Harry's fingers tightened on the cover of the bed he was now sitting on.

"You're afraid of my dick." Harry stated the words like they were nothing more than a factum about something as trivial as the weather. To Draco it was mind crushing though. All thoughts left his head. He was caught. He felt a wave of shame indulge him, what could he really say? Instead of saying something, trying to explain or redirect the attention to something else or even flat out lie, he simply nodded.

Harry hummed, standing up. Even if Draco didn't look at him, he could sense how the other male moved closer to him. It was like he could feel the heat radiating from Harry's body, move through the room. His heart skipped a beat when Harry spoke again. "I find that oddly cute."

Draco could possibly have broken his neck with the speed he lifted his head. Harry was in his personal space. Harry was very naked, in his personal space. Looking at him with eyes, Draco found himself drowning in.

Harry found him cute. He couldn't quite understand it. Before he had any time to attempt to understand it, he was being kissed. Harry had pulled him in by the neck, pressing his lips firmly against Draco's and Draco found himself melt. He had imagined a moment like this. Hell, he had dreamt of this happening and now it was real.

His hands found their way around the other male's neck. Lips almost desperately pressing against Harry's. He wasn't sure how long they kissed. He wasn't even sure when Harry's tongue had found its way into Draco's mouth. All he could think about was how nice it felt being kissed like this.

It had been a while since anyone had kissed him quite like that and when they parted, he found himself panting slightly. He couldn't remember ever haven been kissed like that. With so much passion Draco could barely stand.

The kiss had truly made his brain into mush, but reality crashed down on him as soon as Harry's lips weren't on his own. "You have a girlfriend" he stated, an embarrassing squeak at the start of his sentence. Harry had a girlfriend. A sinking feeling went through him at the sad reminder. Harry might have kissed him, but nothing could really come from it. Harry belonged to someone else.

Harry chuckled fondly, his arms loosely around Draco's waist, as he shook his head. "Nah, me and Gin broke up last week. She said I was daydreaming too much." Harry's hand travelled up Draco's back making it impossible for him to think clearly. The way his hand moved under Draco's shirt, fingers trailing over his skin. No one would be able to think clearly, with hands as perfect as Harry's exploring their back.

Harry could potentially be his. It was quite hard to grasp, especially with the kiss still taking up most of his mind. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head. Harry could be his. The dream of it happening one day, could potentially become a reality. Draco couldn't help but let a soft smile spread on his lips.

Harry's eyes ran over his face, stopping at his lips, making Draco's cheeks heat up. His heart sank once more, when he remembered Harry's girlfriend had never really been the real obstacle. Draco himself was. He sighed softly, meeting Harry's gaze shortly, before he spoke.

"I-I don't think you realize what you're getting yourself into Harry" he whispered. No matter how great of a kisser Harry was, it wouldn't change who Draco was. Usually when that came on the table, they all fled. No relationship seemed to be able to handle his deepest secret. It didn't matter how much they had seemed to care. As soon as it was out, he was out.

He lowered his eyes to the ground. "I-I'm not just scared of your dick." Draco muttered, feeling utterly ridiculous at actually wording that out. Mostly because actually saying it made him realize how true it actually was. He was afraid of another man's dick. He felt tears pricking in the corner of his eyes.

"I-" he paused, sighing a little. "I can't identify myself with the two genders. I don't feel like a man... Which biologically speaking I technically am. I'm sure you've heard of being transgendered... In all honesty I wish I felt like a woman. But I don't I just- I feel like what I got is the best outcome... But I will never be an actual man." It was out.

The silence was killing him, it rung in his ears after he had spoken. He didn't dare lift his eyes. Not ready to face Harry's gaze. The judgement which would be in his eyes. The obvious dejection, when he'd realize what a freak Draco was and how they could never date, because Harry wanted an actual man or woman. Not whatever Draco was.

Draco liked to say he was a person. Just a person. He didn't tell a lot of people in general, mostly because they didn't seem to understand. He had told his mother, she had tried to understand, she really had, but to her he would always be her little boy. He couldn't help but be disappointed. She was meant to love him unconditional, whatever he was. And even she couldn't handle it.

He had experienced more pain that way than healthy was, so he had simply come to terms with the world always seeing him as a man, even though he wouldn't feel like one. Which was why he had decided, to never date someone who didn't understand. So far it had turned out to be difficult... No one seemed to understand. No one seemed to realize how painful it was for him to be something no one would acknowledge or try to understand.

He didn't know why he thought Harry would be different. Maybe he didn't truly think Harry would be different. Maybe he simply had a need to break his own heart repeatedly. The silence was so loud Draco could barely think about anything but said silence. When the silence was finally broken he wanted to cry.

"Okay" was all Harry said at first, before he added "Can I kiss you now?"

Draco was too stunned to say anything, so he simply nodded. The thoughts rushing through his mind were too much to handle, so he simply pushed them away for another day.

-o-o-

Draco didn't know what to feel as Harry ran his lips over Draco's arm, green eyes locked with his own grey ones. It still felt quite unreal for Draco to even have Harry. The other male had been understanding. Telling Draco that if he wasn't a man or a woman, he could just be Draco. So of course, they had started dating.

They still met up on Thursday so Draco could finish his drawing. Harry no longer laid on the bed though. He sat beside Draco, pointing out what could make the so far basic sketch of a long-stretched oval look more like Harry's dick.

At first Harry had suggested Draco just drew on underwear. Though he had appreciated the gesture, he had rejected the idea. Maybe with Harry's help he could finish the drawing. That was why Harry was now beside him to describe how to fix the sketch. He never once forced Draco to actually look at his dick. Harry was very patient with him, and Draco often had to stop drawing simply to show his appreciation with a kiss. Okay, not only one. Quite a lot of them, often so many they wouldn't get much done.

Thursdays weren't the only days they met up though. Harry had come by every weekend since that day. The golden day, as Draco liked to call it in his head. That day would probably always be special to him. It had been the day someone had finally chosen him for him.

Harry would bring breakfast and coffee and they'd sit on the couch, Draco curled up beside Harry, watching whatever was on tv. They would talk. And talk some more, until lunchtime. Where they'd go out. Holding hands. Walking around town, with no specific end goal in mind. Ending at whatever cafe they found to eat lunch. Afterwards Harry would follow him home, kiss him till he could barely breathe and wave as he left and returned home himself.

To say Draco was in deep wouldn't be wrong. He felt like a teenager again. The butterflies in his stomach more often fluttering, when Harry was around, than keeping still.

Draco had known Harry was a great guy, but until they started dating, he hadn't realized how great. They weren't quite official yet, but it was close enough for now.

Draco followed Harry with his eyes as the other trailed his nose down Draco's thigh. Harry had told him they didn't have to be naked to enjoy each other intimately. Harry had told him, that just like Draco knew how to appreciate bodys through art, Harry knew how to appreciate them through touch.

Draco had never considered one could get enjoyment out of such simple touches. Due to his slight genderphobia as he had come to call it, he had thought any form of intimacy, as deep as sex seemed to be, was out of the picture.

But now he realized how right Harry was. The way Harry's nose trailed his skin, sent shivers down his spine, his toes curled up and he could feel his cock react to the touch as well. He was in his boxers, which constrained whatever his cock was trying to achieve.

Draco had at first found it quite awkward, looking down at the other, watching how his lips moved over Draco's pale skin. After the initial awkwardness, he had started relaxing. First then he had truly felt Harry's lips.

It was a completely new world. Harry's lips were no longer just lips, they were so much more. Draco wasn't really sure how to describe what exactly they were, but his body told him just what in its own way.

As soon as Draco had relaxed, Harry had travelled over his leg only to run the kisses over Draco's thigh and up his hip. Draco had jerked with surprise the first time the rush of something seemingly alien had run through him. He hadn't quite known what to think at first. Harry had seemed to know though.

His thoughts had quickly evaporated, as he was far too busy squirming with pleasure as Harry pressed his mouth over his hip. Sucking the soft skin into his mouth. Draco wasn't sure what it was about that exact spot, but as it had turned out said body part was especially sensitive to Harry's kisses.

He arched himself upwards, unable to handle the ministration of his hip, gripping hard onto the sheets to somehow level himself. Harry's eyes were tingling with mirth as he flickered his tongue over the now slightly red spot adoring Draco's pale skin.

As Draco ran his fingers through, soft strands of black hair he thought to himself that maybe he could have his own happiness, even if he didn't fit into the boxes. Even if no one other than Harry would ever really understand him. Maybe he was allowed a bit of happiness as well. Maybe he could have his own happy ending, with someone who would love him unconditionally. That someone being Harry.


End file.
